I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
