we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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