Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
