found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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