you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You are a genius and a whore.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
