i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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