nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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