i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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