Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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