I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
