sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
