FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
