Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so let's talk penis.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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