thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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