I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
