I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
