**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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