Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
