goodnight i made you a song goodbye
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
