What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
