Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i used baking grease as lip gloss
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
