come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
