Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
