what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
