I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
