Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
