If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
