have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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