i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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