I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
