are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
