I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Quick, to the slutcave!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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