if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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