My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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