okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
