Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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