Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
