He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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