There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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