Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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