Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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