i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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