I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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