didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Found your dick twin last night
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
