You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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