That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
