I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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