Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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