East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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