Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it was like eating out sand paper
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
im on a boat
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