What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
