There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
