also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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