it's too hot outside to masturbate.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
