it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You can't just leave with hair like that
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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