I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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